Careers and Relationships Are You Really That Different From David Letterman

Careers and Relationships Are You Really That Different From David Letterman As a former HR manager and a current career professional, youd think Id be weighing in on the   David Letterman story and reminding people why having a personal relationship with a co-worker is career suicide. And while yes, that seems like the logical thing to say, its just not that cut and dry. While Im not condoning what Letterman did, and I recognize the enormous implications for corporate exposure and the motivation for companies to dissuade relationships at work and even create policy around it, relationships at work are not going away anytime soon, regardless of what policies companies implement. Yes, bosses should know better than to get involved with their subordinates, but bosses are prone to the same feelings as everyone else who embarks on a romantic relationship with a co-worker. Not every relationship ends badly and some even have a happily ever after.The Letterman incident made me reflect on my own experiences of blurring the work/personal life line. The truth is that half of all the personal relationships I have ever had were with people I met at work. And while my total number of relationships is not huge, half is still a pretty significant percentage. In addition, I know many people who met their spouse or significant other at work, so its pretty obvious that Im not a statistical anomaly.So why do people initiate romantic relationships with co-workers? In the spirit of the David Letterman show, here are my top 10 reasons why.DistractionLets face it. No one is focused solely on their work every moment they are in the office. There is a huge social component to the world of work and without it people would probably be less productive in the long run. Some of us are more distracted than others and in extreme cases the distraction with the person we like becomes an obsessionand yes that is a bad thing. But in other cases, having that person around makes you happier, more motivated, and overall more productive.AmbitionYep, people still start relati onships for professional gain but that doesnt necessarily mean that they are evil or will get burned in the end. Some people in a position of power take a genuine interest in helping and mentoring subordinates and really want them to succeed and the sex evolves from the bond that is formed.Connection...Being part of a team or an exciting corporate initiative can be like an aphrodisiac. Its a feeling that you only share with the people on the project and no one else can relate to the importance of the project the same way as a co-worker.AcceptanceMany people feel that their office mates understand them better than friends, family, and spouses, perhaps because they understand each other professionally or they both relate to the culture of the company.EducationCo-workers often have knowledge to share with each other that can be valuable in ones career. The desire to share and gain that knowledge can lead to an increase in attraction.ConvenienceWe spend a lot of time with the people we work with. We get to know them faster and with less effort than others because of the consistent exposure. Sometimes relationships emerge out of simple convenience.ProximityI was once in a relationship with someone who worked on the same floor as me. When my department moved to the building next door, the relationship fizzled and he met someone upstairs. Go figure.AvoidanceMany people who start a romantic relationship with a co-worker are avoiding a problem that has surfaced in their marriage. Sometimes its easier to work late than to go home.ExcitementThis is a big one. You can watch Jim and Pams relationship on The Office unfold or you can create your own entertainment. Besides you can always DVR The Office, but you cant do the same for a relationship.RevengeMany office relationships no doubt start because one person is trying to get back at someone else for something and an affair with a co-worker is an easy fix. Perhaps not the smartest move, but one that happens frequently enou gh.So when it comes down to it, maybe more of us have been involved in an office romance than we care to admit. And maybe thats not always such a bad thing. For the record, I was never involved in a relationship with a boss, but I think Ive been guilty of numbers, 1, 3 and 9 on the list. How about you?